Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
