you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
