Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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