the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
