Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
