dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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