hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
