im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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