shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
