I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
