Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
