how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
