forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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