im about as happy as oj after his trial
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
