I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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