Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
