Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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