So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
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he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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