Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
