i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I got inside last night via doggy door
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
