spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
