well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
