32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
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i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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