yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Found the puke drawer
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
