It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
