yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize