Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
