Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
