I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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