I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
