i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
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honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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