I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
