Pants 0. Shit 1.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize