i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
