you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
