i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
All the doctor said was why
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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