Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
