I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
