I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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