Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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