Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
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