You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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