yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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