We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
