You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
