do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
