my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Someone shattered a urinal.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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