You work out of a Hotel?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
