Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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