Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
