I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
