Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
