So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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