You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
