i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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