There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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