these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
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The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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