I hope mine doesn't look like that
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize