Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
