I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
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I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
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I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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